Great post, with very concrete points for parents. My daughters sometimes get tired of having a feminist, gender expert mother, but I hope they have learned that if I see gender in everything, it is because it is in everything. And I think they got it, because more than once they got in "trouble" for not submitting into the good girl trope prescribed to them, yay! I really hope that we all raise girls with less surveillance and boys with much more accountability.
Same! My daughter also gets tired of my feminist lectures at home. But she’s already got a great feminist mind herself, so I regret nothing! Well done for raising girls who get it.
I guess my parenting is a bit non-traditional. I did not realize this until one day I was out for dinner with my brother, his wife and their two children, a boy and a girl, a couple of years younger than my two girls. We were seated at the dinner table. My girls were about 9 and 10 years old at the time. Suddenly my sis in law whispered urgently at her daughter, "Sit like a lady!" My niece sat up straight, crossed her legs and straightened her skirt. She was 7 years old. My nephew, 5 at the time was slouched in his seat. I looked over at my two girls who were engaged in an animated conversation, arms gyrating around telling some fantastical story. They were having a great time and were half hanging off their chairs. For just a second I felt slightly embarrassed, as if I was not a proper mother. Then I realized there was no need to restrain my exuberant daughters to conform to some outdated notion of femininity.
On another occasion the school librarian took it upon herself to ask me if I realized my daughter M had a "really loud voice". I laughed and said, "Of course! We love that about her." She frowned but didn't bring it up again.
My gals are 29 and 30 now... independent and confident. They are both in non-traditional fields for women. They are not just good. They are amazing!
We enjoyed many of the programs and books you recommended. I would also recommend Kino's Journey. This is an anime featuring a young girl and her sentient motorcycle. They travel around and have adventures, solving problems ranging from motorcycle repair to world peace..
An outstanding essay on the what, the why and what to do about patriarchy when there are girls in your home. Bloody well done!
Thanks so much, Michelle!
I also parents and carers recommend reading Sex and Sensibility by Jo-Ann Finkelstein PhD https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/book/sexism-sensibility
All of this rings so true.
I'm glad it resonated.
Great post, with very concrete points for parents. My daughters sometimes get tired of having a feminist, gender expert mother, but I hope they have learned that if I see gender in everything, it is because it is in everything. And I think they got it, because more than once they got in "trouble" for not submitting into the good girl trope prescribed to them, yay! I really hope that we all raise girls with less surveillance and boys with much more accountability.
Same! My daughter also gets tired of my feminist lectures at home. But she’s already got a great feminist mind herself, so I regret nothing! Well done for raising girls who get it.
I guess my parenting is a bit non-traditional. I did not realize this until one day I was out for dinner with my brother, his wife and their two children, a boy and a girl, a couple of years younger than my two girls. We were seated at the dinner table. My girls were about 9 and 10 years old at the time. Suddenly my sis in law whispered urgently at her daughter, "Sit like a lady!" My niece sat up straight, crossed her legs and straightened her skirt. She was 7 years old. My nephew, 5 at the time was slouched in his seat. I looked over at my two girls who were engaged in an animated conversation, arms gyrating around telling some fantastical story. They were having a great time and were half hanging off their chairs. For just a second I felt slightly embarrassed, as if I was not a proper mother. Then I realized there was no need to restrain my exuberant daughters to conform to some outdated notion of femininity.
On another occasion the school librarian took it upon herself to ask me if I realized my daughter M had a "really loud voice". I laughed and said, "Of course! We love that about her." She frowned but didn't bring it up again.
My gals are 29 and 30 now... independent and confident. They are both in non-traditional fields for women. They are not just good. They are amazing!
We enjoyed many of the programs and books you recommended. I would also recommend Kino's Journey. This is an anime featuring a young girl and her sentient motorcycle. They travel around and have adventures, solving problems ranging from motorcycle repair to world peace..
Well done for raising such strong women! Thanks so much for sharing this.